Im starting to get increasingly disappointed with Ee1. Im not gonna drop it bc I want to do ee2 and it isn’t at the point of me hating the subject.
BUT.
when I picked Ee1 I was under the impression from other Ee1 students that history, philosophy and literature would be a much bigger thing in essays?? I heard a lot about the intellectual stimulation but im starting to wonder if I’m just living in another universe with my school. it’s not a “I’m so much smarter than everyone”, I’m just genuinely confused bc I feel like my school is doing watered down ee1 and my school is in THE MID RANGES IM NOT IN THE GHETTOS DOING EE1. MY EADV IS MORE INTERESTING RN I LOVE MACBETH AND THE HANDMAIDS TALE NOT MY EE1 FIRE.
ive been having an issue in eadv where my ’interesting’ ideas are getting watered down to fit time constraints and stuff and fine, I’m not mad at Eadv. BUT, I thought Ee1 would be the place to explore this? to let my brain flourish? Like how it’s meant to? NO, I DONT FEEL THAT.
its worse bc I had the expectation for it, eadv I didn’t. So instead, in ee1 I tried even harder to cram my ideas into my mess of a multimodal and it was… bad… and now in my upcoming prelim in TWO DAYS, I’m on the verge of crashing out and giving up. Ive seen people allowed to write 5 page essays for Ee1 for their multimodal and incorporate so many lovely wonderful stuff into it, I’ve seen people getting such nice texts and do so much with it, I’ve seen so much encouragement from other teachers to have their students share their knowledge abt history, philosophy etc. and I’m so ENVIOUS. I thought my multimodal of a whopping 8min +30sec (that we had to argue for) could fit all the ideas I conjured up in my month of thinking and research for a specific framework (that I shall not mention) but surprisingly (/s) I ended up with a crappy watered down and insanely fast presentation that I still feel second hand embarrassment from. Turns out, most people didn’t follow the damn framework and I doubt they got penalised for it. i felt dead inside after that. like I had deeply disrespected my poor author and director by doing them so dirty because I was trying to respect their philosophies so much.
after this I thought “it’s okay, next time will be better”.
….
haha, no. after trying very desperately to make my two prescribed texts interesting to me (haven’t done it on one yet bc it’s so bad that I’m getting y9 flashbacks) via linking some historical philosophy stuff and comparisons to other literature (my one liner philosophy solo link got past phew… /s but they said quote the line) Teacher gave feedback and said the ‘ideas are interesting’ but I shouldnt do it bc ill run out of time for my other two text… fucking god, they probably said ‘ideas are interesting’ to everyone. I want to cry. im so done. what the freak frack. Why. What am I meant to say. this is going to convert me into a nihilistic asshole. I feel like nothing I like seems to align with the syllabus. like all my sorrows in Eadv are just even more magnified in Ee1.
im starting to think about my ee2 decision. I have a bad feeling that everything I want to do will get watered down. I’m ready to write a whole critique on ee1 at this point. I feel like I’m on the brink of reconverting into an edgy teenager again. Like I feel like I genuinely sound like a egotistical maniac but I swear my goddamn ideas need bigger room to do it’s stuff, my heart is genuinely getting stabbed every time I have to exclude some theory I rlly like from my writing bc I know damn as well the teacher is going to tell me to talk about the goddamn text. i swear by my life, analysing language techniques is destructive to the flow of a work, like I’m staring at mona lisa’s hands instead of mona Lisa. i feel icky doing it unless I’m trying to imitate a style.
i hope uni is better. Sorry for the long-winded rant. I just have a lot of emotions and fervor (I’ll stfu now).
BUT.
when I picked Ee1 I was under the impression from other Ee1 students that history, philosophy and literature would be a much bigger thing in essays?? I heard a lot about the intellectual stimulation but im starting to wonder if I’m just living in another universe with my school. it’s not a “I’m so much smarter than everyone”, I’m just genuinely confused bc I feel like my school is doing watered down ee1 and my school is in THE MID RANGES IM NOT IN THE GHETTOS DOING EE1. MY EADV IS MORE INTERESTING RN I LOVE MACBETH AND THE HANDMAIDS TALE NOT MY EE1 FIRE.
ive been having an issue in eadv where my ’interesting’ ideas are getting watered down to fit time constraints and stuff and fine, I’m not mad at Eadv. BUT, I thought Ee1 would be the place to explore this? to let my brain flourish? Like how it’s meant to? NO, I DONT FEEL THAT.
its worse bc I had the expectation for it, eadv I didn’t. So instead, in ee1 I tried even harder to cram my ideas into my mess of a multimodal and it was… bad… and now in my upcoming prelim in TWO DAYS, I’m on the verge of crashing out and giving up. Ive seen people allowed to write 5 page essays for Ee1 for their multimodal and incorporate so many lovely wonderful stuff into it, I’ve seen people getting such nice texts and do so much with it, I’ve seen so much encouragement from other teachers to have their students share their knowledge abt history, philosophy etc. and I’m so ENVIOUS. I thought my multimodal of a whopping 8min +30sec (that we had to argue for) could fit all the ideas I conjured up in my month of thinking and research for a specific framework (that I shall not mention) but surprisingly (/s) I ended up with a crappy watered down and insanely fast presentation that I still feel second hand embarrassment from. Turns out, most people didn’t follow the damn framework and I doubt they got penalised for it. i felt dead inside after that. like I had deeply disrespected my poor author and director by doing them so dirty because I was trying to respect their philosophies so much.
after this I thought “it’s okay, next time will be better”.
….
haha, no. after trying very desperately to make my two prescribed texts interesting to me (haven’t done it on one yet bc it’s so bad that I’m getting y9 flashbacks) via linking some historical philosophy stuff and comparisons to other literature (my one liner philosophy solo link got past phew… /s but they said quote the line) Teacher gave feedback and said the ‘ideas are interesting’ but I shouldnt do it bc ill run out of time for my other two text… fucking god, they probably said ‘ideas are interesting’ to everyone. I want to cry. im so done. what the freak frack. Why. What am I meant to say. this is going to convert me into a nihilistic asshole. I feel like nothing I like seems to align with the syllabus. like all my sorrows in Eadv are just even more magnified in Ee1.
im starting to think about my ee2 decision. I have a bad feeling that everything I want to do will get watered down. I’m ready to write a whole critique on ee1 at this point. I feel like I’m on the brink of reconverting into an edgy teenager again. Like I feel like I genuinely sound like a egotistical maniac but I swear my goddamn ideas need bigger room to do it’s stuff, my heart is genuinely getting stabbed every time I have to exclude some theory I rlly like from my writing bc I know damn as well the teacher is going to tell me to talk about the goddamn text. i swear by my life, analysing language techniques is destructive to the flow of a work, like I’m staring at mona lisa’s hands instead of mona Lisa. i feel icky doing it unless I’m trying to imitate a style.
i hope uni is better. Sorry for the long-winded rant. I just have a lot of emotions and fervor (I’ll stfu now).
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like using the text to drive an idea vs just like analysing the text or some shit